Learning self appreciation Hawaiian style - Ho'oponopono.
...and other skills for building self-compassion and understanding anger.
Across cultures we see a pattern of guidance that promotes forgiveness, gratitude, interconnected love, and compassion for others and ourselves. Fairness and fitting in are part of being a species that is more social group oriented than solitary predator or scavenger. Touch and social connection can be very healing. Sound is a form of physical touch too. Essential oils or herbal teas or a fresh apple are healing connections with nature, sharing with friends would just increase health benefits.
The following post is lengthy but is in sections which are related to a theme of anger and compassion; and a need for self-compassion which means a need for balance between our giving activities and our self nurturing activities. *I needed this info. The section at the end on Nonviolent Communication was from a tip in the comments - thanks Phar and Heidi!
Ho-oponopono - a Hawaiian philosophy
The Basics of Ho’oponopono - Understanding the Philosophy and Principles, a useful brief video by YouTube channel Ho’oponopono Certification. We need to love and forgive ourselves because otherwise we are a bad enemy for ourselves to have. Very true.
Sometimes simple is the best.
Ho'oponopono for Beginners, (YouTube)
Ho’oponopono - a Hawaiian philosophy and spiritual practice of forgiveness for self and others.
The process used in Ho'oponopono is the simple repetition of the phrases:
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.
Powerful. We can move towards seeing ourselves as connected with one another and with the planet. Our energy is blending with others around us and their energy affects us.
Repetitive sound or chanting can help synchronize our energy flow.
Soothing repetition and rhythm is helping us to have more synchronized energy within our bodies. Being around or listening to some types of music can help our energy waves to become more organized and less chaotic. Other types of music can make our energy more chaotic. People can also feel more soothing to be around or have tension, stress or irritation oozing out of their pores in almost visible way. In a chemical and electrical way, it is expanding outward in energy waves or sweat and exhaled breathe.
What we choose to listen to, or to learn about is feeding our mind and affecting our energy. Staying in familiar territories may be easy and also, who knows what is in the unknown? Curiosity teaches us that the unknown can contain exciting things, and sometimes disasters too, but those can be exciting learning experiences too.
Looking at other cultures can be a quick route to learning that we are more similar in many ways than we are different. Tibetan medicine is holistic and uses functional food based healing treatments along with emotional and physical practices like healing sounds or movement. Forgiveness for oneself and others is promoted for healing purposes.
Healing Frequencies of Tibetan Bowls - meditative music (Youtube)
Letting go of anger and looking inward to recognize where resentment might be building and why, can help to reach peaceful acceptance and maybe to see where change might be needed or where change might be possible in what had seemed a stuck or hopeless situation.
“Tibetan Medicine and You” - you, the health practitioner, or you, the general reader.
The following sections are based on the book Tibetan Medicine and You - A Path to Wellbeing, Better Health, and Joy, by Miriam E. Cameron and Tenzin Namdul, 2020. Miriam Cameron is a registered nurse with a PhD in nursing and philosophy/bioethics who has been studying Tibetan Medicine since 1994. Tenzin Namdul is a doctor of Tibetan Medicine. The book is a collaborative work with a goal of bringing the benefits of Tibetan Medicine practices to Western medicine practitioners. (GoodReads) (Rowman.com)
Self-compassion and compassion - with an attitude of “We are one,” then it becomes clear that helping you is helping me too. Your better health is better for my health too.
Self-compassion is a need for our health in addition to seeing the interconnectedness of life and the need for compassion for others - as we are one.
Compassion is described in Tibetan Medicine as an understanding that all phenomena are made of the same five energy sources, rather than being just a feeling. Researchers Fernando, Rea and Malpas (2018) found that compassion consists of connection, presence, warmth, respect and caring. Tibetan Medicine advocates cultivating these qualities of self-compassion through daily practices. This suggests self-compassion involves an intellectual understanding of one's shared nature with other living beings. We all deserve care, including ourselves.
Numerous studies have confirmed a positive relationship between self-compassion, universal compassion, health and happiness in a variety of individuals like adolescents, adults, nurses, children and postpartum women. In studies of nurses specifically, higher self-compassion was linked to characteristics like not feeling burned out or needing approval from others. These traits were inversely related to measures of compassion fatigue.
Self-compassion involves an intellectual understanding of shared humanity combined with practices to cultivate qualities like warmth and caring towards oneself. Research has linked self-compassion to greater health, happiness and less stress or fatigue in caring for others.
Healing music interlude: Echoes of Silence, Handpan music, Malte Marten (Youtube)
“Compassion fatigue” or “Codependency”?
In the book Tibetan Medicine and You, we learn that compassion itself would not cause exhaustion or "fatigue", as is commonly referred to as “compassion fatigue”. Instead, in Tibetan Medicine, experiencing fatigue from serving others in what seems a compassionate role, is likely a result of codependency.
With codependency, we learned as children to take our lead from others before taking any action on our own - or we may have learned to hide. We had to learn to watch for emotional cues that might suggest safety or danger and then act accordingly - avoid the dangerous adult, or during a calm mood, see that now might be a good time to ask for food or other help.
Codependency may lead to later problems with addiction, poor mental health and irresponsibility to others or an excessive responsibility for others that leads to burnout or resentment and then irresponsibility or other problems may occur.
Those with codependency characteristics may feel burned out having gone beyond their personal limits in a need other people's approval.
Studies found codependency traits were inversely related to self-compassion in nurses. In trying to overly please or care for others, the nurses were not taking sufficient care of their own needs for rest. Lack of self-compassion could potentially lead one to take on more than they can handle in trying to help others.
Tibetan Medicine views emotional and physical fatigue as symptoms that could not be a direct result of compassion itself, but rather it might grow from codependent behaviors and a lack of self-compassion, which can lead someone to overextend themselves. Without proper boundaries or care for one's own needs it is likely that burnout and illness may occur, and resentment may be forming that could lead to angry outbursts.
To love others we need to love ourselves, and it is true of caregiving as well.
Anger and self compassion are interconnected.
If we try to suppress angry feelings they are more likely to build up into bigger resentments which might lead to an angry outburst. Maybe as a child we would be punished if we spoke out in anger or with other strong emotions.
Meditating on anger - focusing on what we are feeling, where it is causing tension in the body, and what imagery may be linked to it - can help develop mindfulness and understanding of the root causes of anger. When we allow ourselves to see our unspoken feelings, we can allow ourselves to let it go instead of expressing, ruminating on, or suppressing angry or sad or lonely feelings. This cultivates self compassion.
Cultivating self compassion through practices like forgiveness and making amends can help heal the mind and may help us to face death peacefully without fear or remorse, rather than being plagued by unresolved anger or issues.
Studies regarding nurses' self compassion found that having more self-compassion was inversely related to characteristics associated with "compassion fatigue", suggesting higher self compassion is linked to less anger and stress. And/or that higher self compassion is linked to better self care and less of a physical burden of stress chemicals.
Whether we are working non-stop physically, or worrying non-stop emotionally, we are using up our energy and creating toxins from the metabolic activity. When we ‘burn our midnight oil’ working late into the night, we are using our internal resources, not just adding to the electric bill, or kerosene oil bill in days of old.
We can carry our anger or unresolved sorrow or loneliness within our body. Recognition and self-compassion are needed to let go of old burdens.
“A quote from Louise Hay.
PROBLEM: Shoulders, See: Joints, Round Shoulders
PROBABLE CAUSE: Represent our ability to carry out experiences in life joyously. We make life a burden by our attitude.
NEW THOUGHT PATTERN: I choose to allow all my experiences to be joyous and loving.” - @Needless2Say a comment on the video
Fascia Documentary: The network of the body without beginning or end. (Youtube)
The fascia is our inner bodysuit - a membrane that encases our body just under our exterior skin layer. Moving regularly is important so the membranous lining stays moist and flexible without any restricted areas where the membrane isn’t moving freely - metaphorical wrinkles are in our body suit in that area where pain may be present and movement is restricted.
Exercise that moves the body contralaterally - opposite body parts moving in opposite directions, may help stretch out the internal bodysuit so it doesn’t have tight non-moving areas. Adequate water and electrolytes are also important for our extracellular matrix - our Jello-filling - to flow well and allow everything else to smoothly interact without restrictions or pain. If you had to wear a deep sea diving suit, you would want it to fit well and to not chaff anywhere.
Compassion and anger may show up in tense body muscles or relaxed muscles and a face with smile lines at the edges of the eyes instead of furrowed vertical angry lines between the eyebrows. Those vertical lines are associated with liver disease and anger in Traditional Chinese Medicine. The energy we habitually hold onto does affect our health, and that can be in beneficial or in negative ways.
Both Tibetan and Traditional Chinese medicine have an understanding of energy channels flowing along the spine - three channels, flowing up or down. And the interesting thing is not the different names, but the similarities to the physiology that Western science has revealed. How did ancient people figure out the energy channels of the body without modern technology? With just acupuncture needles and perceptive questioning and listening?
Be selfish enough to have self-courage, self-love, and self-respect.
Patrick Teahan discusses healthy boundaries in parenting and how crossing those can be subtle but habitual. That can leave patterns in inner self talk and in communication with others which are also crossing boundaries or are unhealthy in some way.
Nonviolent Communication, by Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD - a book recommended by Heidi (Substack)
Nonviolent Communication is about listening more and not judging, not evaluating as we tend to be trained to do. It is about daily conversation, rather than some sort of method to use for bullying.
“Empathy is a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing. Instead of offering empathy, we often have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling. Empathy, however, calls upon us to empty our mind and listen to others with our whole being.” - Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD (cnvc.org/What is NVC?)
“Every judgement is a tragic expression of an unmet need.” - Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD
What is the cause of anger? Unmet needs. We have been trained to judge and punish, rather than look at both parties unspoken needs. We often have been so entrained in judging as a response to angry feelings, “You caused this feeling in me,” that we can have a hard time figuring out what unspoken needs or wants are present along with the anger response.
“Words are windows, or they are walls.” - Marshall Rosenberg
“The four steps for expressing anger compassionately are:
Identifying the stimulus
Identifying the cause
Identifying the unmet need in ourselves
Communicating our unmet need and making a request in a way that maximizes the chance that the need will be met.”
The four steps for expressing anger compassionately explained by Marshall Rosenberg (Audio only) (Youtube)
Freedom in the Medical industry - an early era CoV jab mandate, physician activist from Texas, August 25, 2021, Tessa Fights Robots (Substack)
Dr. Julapalli’s new website (currently goes to his PayPal donations page):
https://nomedicalapartheid.orgDr. Julapalli’s main website: https://www.conscious-medicine.com
This will be the first of a few posts on the theme of anger and compassion and Tibetan Medicine.
Disclaimer: This information is being provided for educational purposes within the guidelines of Fair Use and is not intended to provide individual health care guidance.
I needed this today!
Thank you! I've been wanting to find, not the bowls like that, but where they are suspended on top of each other -- I don't know what they are called but I saw them yrs ago at a botanical garden and they were so restful! I want to learn to play them so I can feel the resonance - like a harp. We must deal with these emotions or they will get rooted and sprout when we least want them.