Mindfulness as a route to Happiness; also Radical Acceptance & benefits of laughter - link to a Substack by Dr. Emmanuel Godami
Smiles are free to give and receive!
“Mindfulness isn’t difficult, we just need to remember to do it.”
- Sharon Salzberg, quote via (PositivePsychology.com)
That quote made me laugh. It is kind of a funny statement, because it is reversing a big point → The hard thing about mindfulness is remembering to do it → remembering to be present instead of slipping into a dissociative autopilot as we tend to do or having racing thoughts of ‘monkey mind’ skittering around the millions of things we are thinking about it.
Mindfulness becomes easy to do as we become more practiced at taking notice of things around us - whether good or bad, simply observing what is without necessarily attaching judgement or expectations to the thought or event.
We can be more mindful about anything, including happiness. Mindfulness means to become more aware of our habits and attitudes and the beauty or misery around us - see it, accept that it is there. Maybe then consider if you want to do something about changing anything.
Thinking a little more about what our attitude and habits are when it comes to enjoying life and seeking out pleasurable things to do is the goal of an exercise on Happiness by positivepsychology.com.
Is happiness something to grab whenever and whatever? Or is it something to put off while working hard to achieve that distant future? Or is happiness not a possibility at all?
Hopefully happiness is possible and enjoyable throughout the day as we admire the little things in life and have a meaningful goal that adds purpose to working towards future goals.
The Four Archetypes of Happiness exercise, from PositivePsychology.com, has directions for the counselor and the handout for the client. (pdf in my Dropbox)
The names say a lot - The Hedonist lives in the moment, The Rat Racer puts off pleasure for some distant future, The Nihilist feels happiness isn’t possible, the standard is the Happy Person who enjoys the present moment and has long term goals that add purpose to life.
If your Happiness Archetype is somewhere in the not having much pleasurable fun in the present moment categories (The Rat Racer and The Nihilist), then The Pleasurable Activities Journal is an exercise with a list of ideas for fun things to do. It has fill-in-the-blank pages to think and journal about your chosen activities. Your job is to do something fun and then think about it a bit.
Pleasurable Activities Journal (pdf in my Dropbox)
Finding pleasure in life may promote more happiness but without a sense of purpose in life it might feel a little empty. Meaningfulness was found to be separate from happiness by researchers in the field of Positive Psychology.
“Renowned positive psychologist Roy F. Baumeister and colleagues took on the challenge of determining what makes a good life, and they found some interesting findings that you can apply to your own life (2013). Their research showed that happiness and a sense of meaning in life do not necessarily go hand-in-hand, indicating that focusing on positive emotions alone will not bring the fulfilling and satisfying life you crave.
Some of their more specific findings included the following:
The satisfaction of one’s wants and needs boost happiness, but have virtually no impact on meaningfulness; this indicates that focusing on obtaining what you want will increase your happiness, but you may have to supplement to get a deeper sense of meaning.
Happiness is present-oriented, rooted in the moment, while meaningfulness is more focused on the past and future and how they link to the present; this finding suggests that you can focus on the present to increase your happiness, but you might consider thinking more about your past and future to find meaning.
“Givers” experience more meaning, while “takers” experience more happiness; if you find yourself lacking in meaning, try giving back to others, but if you are lacking in happiness, try being accepting of others’ generosity to give yourself a boost.
Worry, stress, and anxiety are more likely to be felt by those whose lives are high in meaningfulness and low in happiness; this indicates that you shouldn’t get too down about experiencing negative emotions if you have a strong sense of meaning—a little negative emotion can actually be a good thing!
An intention to express your authentic self and a sense of strong personal identity are linked to meaning, but not to happiness; if you are searching for meaning, try working on your practice of authenticity.
What Is Positive Psychology & Why Is It Important? 20 Apr 2018 by Courtney E. Ackerman, MA., Scientifically reviewed by Jo Nash, Ph.D. (positivepsychology.com)
Radical Acceptance sounds kind of radical, but the exercises in the following article are sensible: 12 Radical Acceptance Worksheets to download for yourself. (positivepsychology.com)
I think Radical Acceptance means taking a deeper look at yourself - seeing and accepting where you are at. That allows us to take the blinders of denial off. We can’t really improve our lives if we aren’t admitting to ourselves that maybe things aren’t that great right now. If we have the proverbial rose-colored glasses on than our life looks rosy and just fine. We may be blind to the fact that we are overworking ourselves and haven’t done anything fun in months - too much meaningfulness or Rat Race perhaps. We may be blinding ourselves to living too much in pleasure and a Hedonist approach to happiness and life.
“Radical acceptance is a tool used in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) to help clients see the present moment for what is and look at it more objectively, rather than purely emotionally (Linehan, 2014).” (positivepsychology.com)
More about Martin Seligman and the field of Positive Psychology - the basic goal is to help build positive skills for clients, not just focus on reducing negative mental health symptoms:
What Is Positive Psychology & Why Is It Important? 20 Apr 2018 by Courtney E. Ackerman, MA., Scientifically reviewed by Jo Nash, Ph.D. (positivepsychology.com)
Research in this area has found that reducing negative symptoms does not automatically lead to having a life full of positive attributes. It is two separate skill sets more than a continuum from mental illness ←——> mental wellness.
Thinking and living positively is kind of a skill that we learn from our caregivers as a child or we have to learn it sometime later in life on our own. Optimism and a positive outlook are not necessarily a natural gift, although nutrient deficiencies can make some positive feelings hard to achieve and negative ones hard to get rid of no matter how much talk therapy you might receive. Talking about the symptoms of an underlying nutrient deficiency will not replace any missing nutrients. In fact if you look at it from an energy expenditure and waste production point of view, Talk therapy would be making the underlying situation worse by using up more nutrients.
Treading water can only save you from drowning if you are rescued before you are exhausted and fall asleep. Talking about real physical problems as if they are only in our thoughts is wasting time that could be spent learning how to resolve the underlying cause of the problems.
We see the concept that positive attitudes are not the same as lack of negative attitudes within the Four Archetypes of Happiness.
This concept that removing negatives does not necessarily lead to positives can be seen in the Happiness Archetypes.
The Rat Racer who puts off fun for later probably had parents that stressed the importance of doing that and role modeled it themselves. Or maybe the parents were Hedonist and the child as an adult developed an opposite of my parents approach to life, instead of learning how to live at the Happy Person ideal.
The Nihilist person may have had parents role modeling that, or they might be apathetic from iodine deficiency and feeling depressed from iodine and magnesium deficiency.
The Hedonist who is living only in the moment and has no long term focus may have had parents like that or may be living with internal sabotage as defensive response against parents who were way too controlling and maybe were Rat Racers.
I’ve lived somewhat in the Hedonist resistance to Rat Racer parents who also could be Hedonists at times, and also Happy People at times too.
I have also experienced the apathy and joylessness of iodine and magnesium deficiency - and Prozac type psychiatric drugs can leave you in that no ups, no downs, no nothing kind of life which is really not good - the Nihilist - “meh” which is a little too close to suicide for comfort, or living with risk “If something happens to me, oh well, no biggie”.
The Four Archetypes of Happiness exercise, from PositivePsychology.com, with directions for the counselor and the handout for the client. (pdf in my Dropbox) (from the PERMA Pack, Positivepsychology.com, an exercise for ‘P’ - Positive Emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Accomplishments)
Caring about the Right Things exercise (pdf in my Dropbox) is from the ‘M’ - Meaning section and it pulls things together for us - how can we care more, focus more on things that we value, and care less on things that are inconsequential or even negative? This exercise has a list of values, which ones do you value the most? Then journal about the ones that stand out as things you care a lot about. Mindfulness simply means paying more attention to what we are doing which can then allow us more control over choosing our actions instead of mindlessly reacting and maybe going along with other people and doing things we don’t really feel good about. (from the PERMA Pack, Positivepsychology.com).
Laughing more is healthy for us, so telling more jokes might be too.
If You Want To Reduce Stress and Stay Healthier, You Should Laugh More - The role of laughter in maintaining health and wellbeing, by Dr. Emmanuel Godami, Substack: Purple Messenger – Vitamins for your mental health. (Substack)
Which came first the smile or the coo? The baby coo because it led to a smile from mom or dad and baby smiled back!
Disclaimer: This information is being provided for educational purposes within the guidelines of Fair Use and is not intended to provide individual health care guidance.
JD - Great missive. We all need the lighter side of things and laughter is the best medicine.